As we tell the story, we think about it from all angles. Our tradition speaks of four different types of children who might react differently to the Passover Seder. It is our job to make our story accessible to all members of our community, so we think about how we might best reach each type of child. Since this Seder is focused on the theme of “rape culture”, we wanted to reimagine the traditional Four Children as real life people in our community, each responding to rape culture in different ways. As you read, consider the ways in which you identify with one, several, or all of these “children”:

The Wise Child/The Accomplice Asks: “What are the testimonies of people who are oppressed by rape culture? How can I listen openly and nonjudgmentally to them, and be witness to their voices? How am I personally implicated in the perpetuation of rape culture, and how can I use my privileges to help?”

The Wicked Child/The Bystander Asks: “Why did my friend get so upset at that rape joke she heard? Why can’t she lighten up?” The Bystander removes themselves from the problem and misses the point, misses the chance to step in, entirely. The Bystander doesn’t see themselves as a part of the larger, systemic problem.

The Simple Child/The Un-”Woke” Asks: “What is this ‘rape culture’ I keep hearing so much about?” with no actual intent to learn. Most likely, The Un-”Woke” feels personally threatened by the concept of rape culture, and puts their defenses up when confronted with it.

The Child Who Doesn’t Know How to Ask/The Nice Person: We all know these folks. Well-meaning community members who don’t even know enough about systematic gender and sex oppression to ask their own questions about it.


haggadah Section: -- Four Children
Source: Revenge of Dinah: A Feminist Seder on Rape Culture in the Jewish Community