The Torah Speaks of Four Kinds of People Who Use Zoom
 
The Wise
The Wicked
The Simple
The One Who Does Not Know How to “Mute”
 
The Wise Person says: “I’ll handle the Admin Feature Controls and Chat Rooms, and forward the Cloud Recording Transcript after the call.”
 
The Wicked Person says: “Since I have unlimited duration, I scheduled the meeting for six hours—as it says in the Haggadah, whoever prolongs the telling of the story, harei zeh m‘shubach, is praiseworthy.”
 
The Simple Person says: “Hello? Am I on? I can hear you but I can’t see you.”
 
The One Who Does Not Know How to Mute says: “How should I know where you put the keys? I’m stuck on this stupid Zoom call with these idiots.”
 
To the Wise Person you should offer all of the Zoom Pro Optional Add-On Plans.
 
To the Wicked Person you should say: “Had you been in charge, we would still be in Egypt.”
 
To the Simple Person you should say: “Try the call-in number instead.”
 
To the One Who Does Not Know How to Mute you should say: “Why should this night be different from all other nights?”


haggadah Section: Introduction
Source: Uncle Ken